Top 10 Books You Can Complete When Flying

Those excuses about not having time to read books because you are too busy go out of the window when you are catching a flight. Not literally, of course, due to the horrors of depressurisation. But there is always time for a good read when you kick back with your 30 mm of leg space and your lukewarm chicken kiev, dreaming of Greggs. Because you only have a limited time at the airport to choose from a bewildering canon of fine literature, please allow me to be your guide.

Below, I have listed two choices for whatever duration of flight you may find yourself taking. I have tried to be as universal as possible in my choices, but I am a bloke, so bear that in mind. All flight times are calculated from London Heathrow so you know you will have an extra couple of hours waiting time to start your own novel, and I have estimated a page a minute to strike a balance between fast and slow readers.

London to:

Paris (2 hours): You will not have long but that does not mean your choice has to be any less good. Two top-drawer twentieth century masterpieces will fulfil your reading needs and be over just in time for you to jump out of the emergency exit to your death at the horrible madness of it all. They are Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad and Animal Farm by George Orwell. The former is famous for making the world aware that Marlon Brando was getting fat, the latter is famous for giving Victoria Wood the idea for Dinnerladies.

Moscow (4 hours): Time for some popular history and travel methinks. Dava Sobel’s Longitude is, to my knowledge, the only book to make watchmaking not just interesting, but gripping. It is the story of John Harrison, the man who discovered how to make portable timepieces reliable enough for sailing with, greatly aiding navigation and resulting in pretty much the world economy we have today. Time will fly, arf arf. If clock construction does not float your boat, try Bill Bryson’s Notes From a Small Island on the way back to Blighty, an affectionate critique of the UK that should hopefully make you feel a little better about returning home.

New York (8 hours): This is pure pulp fiction territory, the kind of long haul flight that airport book shops were designed for. Indulge your guilty pleasures. For the men, buy Tom Clancy’s Rainbow Six, the only novel to extend a ten page short story written by a twelve year old into a 650 page treatise on the dangers of assembling a Glock incorrectly. For the women, try any of Danielle Steel’s oeuvre, so far the only author to make Mills & Boon look like magic realists. With sales of over 550 million and counting, she is best selling fiction writer in the world. She has had one of the top ten selling books in the US for every year of the 1990s and is responsible for 30% of worldwide deforestation.

Hong Kong (12 hours): With a solid half a day at your disposal, you should be able to tuck into something meaty. For some superb journalism, try a collection of Hunter S. Thompson pieces, The Great Shark Hunt. In these politically aware times it’s a reminder that Iraq is not the first time the Western World has put the boot in where it’s not welcome. For something a little more philosophical, grab a copy of Richard Dawkins’s The God Delusion. The book will last you half the flight and you can spend the other half wondering whether you agree or not.

Australia (24 hours): On a day-long flight, you don’t want to be tucking into War and Peace. No matter how cultured you are feeling, digging into Tolstoy is going to leave you either completely exhausted or with a nasty dose of DVT come landing time.

Instead, go for something a little lighter. Why not try the Big Mac Meal of the epic novel world, Stephen King’s The Stand. Yes, it is about 1500 pages long, and you will have difficulty recalling what happened to that 24-hour period of your life, but it was made into a TV mini series and that’s all that matters. For the hardcore who plan on continuing to read when they get to their destination, try Samuel Richardson’s Pamela, or Virtue Rewarded. Deemed the first epistolary novel, it is a horrendous, near 1000-page long, 18th century version of Neighbours, and is the only book guaranteed to last you the whole flight because you will fall asleep long before the end of the first page. In case you are interested, its full title is Pamela: or, Virtue Rewarded, in a Series of Familiar Letters From a Beautiful Young Damsel to Her Parents in Order to Cultivate the Principles of Virtue and Religion in the Minds of the Youth of Both Sexes. Still with me? Then go buy it.

What books do you read when flying? Is there anything that you read that helps you through the hours? Why not comment and let us know your favs.