42 Worst Ever Car Movies
Posted on: August 28th, 2008 by Gareth RobinsonPlease note, this is not the 42 worst ever movies, it’s the 42 worst ever car movies. There are some great films on this list, but they feature awful cars.
Cars and movies - don’t normally go together!
42. Planes, Trains and Automobiles
The planes and trains are fine, but the automobiles are awful and sometimes on fire.
41. Terminator
Cars that look like they were styled by that bloke who let Frankenstein’s monster into his house.
40. The Living Daylights
For this installment, they got Swiss Toni to pick Bond’s car for him.
39. Talladega Nights
This film is trying to parody Days of Thunder. Which we shall see, is impossible.
How can you parody Days of Thunder?
38. Robocop
Makes the list for the 6000 SUX, a hilarious commentary on the corporate capitalism of 80s America. Oh Mr. Verhoeven, you’re so clever.
37. The Italian Job (Remake)
Take the original Italian Job, sap of any charm, then imbue with a sense of self-importance.
36. Dirty Harry
During filming, Clint Eastwood shocked the film crew by raising his upper lip when he saw the bucket o’nuts car he would be driving.
35. Thunderbirds
Rule of thumb: if your car is a pink Rolls Royce built to 1:25 scale, don’t make a life-size version. Also, don’t let a fat, ex-Star Trek extra direct.
Even an arty shot can’t hide it’s rubbishness
34. The Punisher
This car is punishing on the eyes. Get it?
33. Demolition Man
In the future, all cars look like suppositories.
32. Tomorrow Never Dies
‘Let’s give Bond a remote control car!’
‘That’s a great idea! What kind of car though?’
‘How about a BMW saloon?’
‘Brilliant!’
31. Gone in 60 Seconds
Lovely cars, but there’s too many of them. It’s called the Ocean’s Twelve principle.
30. Grease
Manly cars danced on by John Travolta. It should have been the tagline.
29. I, Robot
The film that tells you to buy an Audi and that your Apple Mac may kill you (sponsored by Microsoft).
In the furture, we’ll all drive Audis
28. Ace Ventura: Pet Detective
So bad that Ace has to lean out of the window to see where he’s going.
27. Aliens
In which Ripley drives an armoured shoebox with an entirely useless gun mounted on top that has to be stowed away to avoid hanging ceilings. A lack of forward-planning by those Space Marines.
26. Wayne’s World
The Mirth Mobile is amazing, but would you really buy that car?
25. Speed Racer
Just for the way the characters say ‘Speed Racer’.
24. A Clockwork Orange
Apparently the dog-rough car scene was the inspiration for Driving Miss Daisy.
23. Kill Bill: Vol. 1
One of Tarantino’s most spectacular misfires. The Pussy Wagon was so named because no one wanted to clap eyes on it.
22. Who Framed Roger Rabbit?
A wisecracking cartoon car that looks like a mouldy marshmallow, and Bob Hoskins. You can see why BT hired him.
21. The Fast and the Furious
See Gone in 60 Seconds.
Lights underneath your car- that’s what you want!
20. The Big Lebowski
‘Well, they finally did it. They killed my car.’ I do love this film, but the dude’s car is one thing I can’t abide.
19. Convoy
Synopis from the Internet Movie Database: ‘Truckers form a mile long “convoy” in support of a trucker’s vendetta with an abusive sheriff… Based on the country song of same title by C.W. McCall.’ Did you get through that? Well done.
18. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
Apart from the immortal phrase heard during most Harry Potter screenings, ‘It’s not as good as the book’, this film is famous for a flying Ford Anglia, and how often do you want to have to say that?
17. Viva Las Vegas
Elvis would have been a great actor if he had been given the right script, some say. Which conveniently overlooks the fact that he was never given the right script.
16. Redline
This film is so bad that only one man has seen it beginning to end, and he was blind and sitting in the cinema by accident.
15. Ghostbusters
It pains me to list this all-time classic movie, but there’s no denying that, as a car, the Ectomobile is actually a hearse.
A hearse catching ghosts - geddit??
14. National Lampoon’s Vacation
People used to laugh at Chevy Chase because of what he was saying. Though no one was laughing at the car in this film, except maybe the devil.
13. Genevieve
Back when your dad’s car looked like the back of a fridge, this was a charming movie.
12. Driven
I haven’t seen this film. But reputation and a quick Google search won out. By consensus of the world, this makes the list.
11. Road to Perdition
On the Road to Perdition drive the cars of inanity as the traffic warden of eternity dishes out the tickets of justice.
10. Toy Story
In Pixar land, everyone drives a knackered van or a Volvo.
9. Dumb and Dumber
‘I spent my life savings turning my car into a dog.’
8. Cannonball Run 2
You’ll believe an audience can run.
7. Death Race 2000
Remember when everyone was discovering the internet and thought it would be a great idea to include the Millennium in their e-mail addresses? This film gives you the same sensation as seeing one of those e-mail addresses.
6. Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
This film is absolutely a classic until you learn to drive.
You won’t believe a car can fly
5. Taxi Driver
With some dirty porn music and a shifty-looking Robert De Niro, you have yourself a classic film. Stick him in a taxi that doesn’t go anywhere and you have yourself an arse of a car movie.
4. Knightrider 2000
Take the coolest speaking car in the world, then take away the car part.
3. Herbie Goes to Monte Carlo
Followed by the more successful ‘Herbie Goes Away’.
2. Batman and Robin
They pimped the Batmobile! Cue period drama-type fainting from fanboys.
1. Days of Thunder
When your protagonist is a NASCAR racer called Cole Trickle, you’re already in as deep as you can be. When Cole Trickle is played by Tom Cruise, you have the worst car movie of all time. The term ‘redeeming feature’ was invented for this film, but not used for years later.
The best of the worst - not the best of the best
